truth's in life...

[IceDog]

Great Truths About Life That Little Children Have Learned



No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize a cat.

When your mom is mad at your dad, don’t let her brush your hair.

If your sister hits you, don’t hit her back. They always catch the second person.

Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.

You can’t trust your dog to watch your food.

Don’t sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.

You can’t hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

Don’t wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

The best place to be when you’re sad is Grandpa’s lap.





Great Truths About Life That Adults Have Learned



Raising teenagers is like nailing Jell-o to a tree.

Families are like fudge… mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

Laughing is good exercise. It’s like jogging on your insides.

Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.





Great Truths About Growing Old



Growing old is mandatory, growing up is optional.

Forget the health food, we need all the preservatives we can get.

When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you’re down there.

You’re getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.

It’s frustrating when you know all the answers, but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.