The Man Rules*******************

[PhoenixRising]

The Man Rules*******************

We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

[antonym]

.......

...nice!

[warren]

i liked #1.

[scarabY2k]

It's official...

TJ is now the Oracle

We men bow down to your superior intellect.

Or is to the fact that you had the stones to post what us men have been thinking

I guess we'll have 'the others' interjecting their .02 cents this thread yeah? That has to be a rule too, right?

Here's another #1..

When asked "what would you like to eat"?
And the response is "it dosen't matter"
Don't be upset when we order and you then say "well I don't want that"

[PhoenixRising]

Originally Posted by scarabY2k

It's official...

TJ is now the Oracle

We men bow down to your superior intellect.

Or is to the fact that you had the stones to post what us men have been thinking

I guess we'll have 'the others' interjecting their .02 cents this thread yeah? That has to be a rule too, right?

Here's another #1..

When asked "what would you like to eat"?
And the response is "it dosen't matter"
Don't be upset when we order and you then say "well I don't want that"

Amen, my brother from another mother.

[Alan From NYC]

On another Earth, in another plane of existence, those truly are The Rules. And women tend to be strangely quiet.

[from Margaritaville...]

Perfect! I'm sharing this with other males...

Sharing this with females would only cause furrowed brows and forehead lines neccesitating a field trip to ULTA or some such other retailer for goods that will accompany the already overcrowded counter space. By the way...why do the ladies hang onto the rarely used cosmetics long after they've been replaced by other products for the same purpose? Will they become effective again some day? Perhaps some nostalgic connection... It just looks like a testament to the fact that time marches on and somepeople are unable to accept it...