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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 11-28-2007, 03:50 AM
jdesigns's Avatar
Just because!
 
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Default Jokes To Offend EVERYONE!

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
Juan on Juan

What is a Yankee?
The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.

What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover ?
The position of the dirt bag


Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

What do you see when the Pillsbury Dough Boy bends over?
Doughnuts

Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.


What do you call a smart blonde?

A golden retriever.


What do attorneys use for birth control?

Their personalities.

What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
10 years and 45 lbs


What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?

45 minutes


What's the fastest way to a man's heart?

Through his chest with a sharp knife.


Why do men want to marry virgins?

They can't stand criticism.


Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?

Because those men already have boyfriends.


What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?

After a year, the dog is still excited to see you

Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying?

The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.


Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex?

Because they have cotton balls.

What's the difference between a porcupine and BMW?
A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.


What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

'Are you sure it's mine?'


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?

Mace will do that to you.


Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ?

Everyone has the same DNA.


Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?

Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.


Where does an Irish family go on vacation?

A different bar.


Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a blond baby?

They named him 'Sum Ting Wong'


What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?

A speech impediment

What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with... 'a recipe'.


How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?

Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!


What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?

A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ...' -A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap....
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Old 11-28-2007, 03:54 AM
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Old 11-28-2007, 03:55 AM
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awesome.
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Old 11-28-2007, 04:02 AM
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Just because!
 
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Any predictions for how many of these I will have to delete because someone takes these TOO seriously?
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Old 11-28-2007, 04:10 AM
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hmmm...not sure exactly why, but methinks #8.

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Old 11-28-2007, 06:36 PM
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Default *roflmao*

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Old 11-28-2007, 07:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jdesigns
What's the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins 'Once upon a time ...' -A southern fairytale begins 'Y'all ain't gonna believe this crap...
I love it! So true.
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Old 11-28-2007, 08:14 PM
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...is this thing on?
 
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Love it!
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Old 11-28-2007, 10:52 PM
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crank it up, suckers!
 
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Is there something wrong with me for not being offended?
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Old 11-29-2007, 02:24 AM
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Rarely do we get a chance to offend everyone at the same time! Thanks!
So, what happens to the car in the redneck school on weekends?
Searching for roadkill?
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Old 11-29-2007, 05:36 AM
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Um... I was offended by the beaner joke, so I ask that it be DELETED!!





























Not really LoL
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Old 11-29-2007, 07:31 AM
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Funny stuff, said the Preacher.
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Old 11-29-2007, 01:09 PM
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Old 12-26-2007, 08:48 PM
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The last one is funny
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Old 11-11-2008, 11:54 PM
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Just because!
 
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Two flies are in the kitchen, which one is the cowboy?

The one on the range!




Why did god create the shopping cart?

To teach women to walk on their hind legs!



How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat?

She starts wearing your wife's clothes!

Last edited by jdesigns; 11-12-2008 at 12:11 AM..
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Old 11-12-2008, 12:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jdesigns View Post
How do you know your girlfriend is getting fat? She starts wearing your wife's clothes!
Dude.

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Old 11-12-2008, 12:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jdesigns View Post


Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
Mace will do that to you.
OMG I haven't seen this before! I am still laughing at THIS!!
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Old 11-13-2008, 04:26 AM
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Just because!
 
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What do you call a judge with no thumbs?



Justice Fingers.
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