Help - New computer program not working well - for the guys :)

[KatWoman]

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 . I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3 , Football 5.0 , Goingtothepub 7.5 , and Softball 3.6.

I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0 , but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0 . Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.....

_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 , thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING !!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0 . It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony/Child Support . I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE! because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance . Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0 , Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2 ..

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3 . This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system!

Best of luck,

Tech Support

[Scarab 1]

That was a riot to read. Thank you!

[Fowvay]

Dear Tech Support.

Wife 1.0 recently crashed and will not reinstall on my computer. I tried using Flowers 3.2 and would have used Diamonds 5.0 if I could afford the astronomical price of said program. I finally had to break down and purchase Attorney 10.1 which did a clean uninstall of wife 1.0 but also reformatted 401K 1.0, 401K 2.0, Bank Account 1.0, 2.0 and 3.0. It also managed to crash hardware such as Focus 2.0, Apartment 1.0 and somehow managed to desolve 50% of belongings 1.0.

I made the mistake of upgrading Girlfriend 11.0 to Wife 1.0. I am hoping when I finally find Girlfriend 12.0 that I won't have to upgrade to Wife 2.0.

[scarabY2k]

too funny from all yous.

I'm waiting for the PC vs. Mac commercial of this thread