Christmas jokes

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What did Adam say on the day before Christmas ?
It's Christmas, Eve !

How do you make an idiot laugh on boxing day ?
Tell him a joke on Christmas Eve !

What do you have in December that you don't have in any other month ?
The letter "D" !

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?
Santa Claustrophobia !

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?
Black mail !

Who delievers cat's Christmas presents ?
Santa Paws !

Why does Father Christmas go down the chimney ?
Because it soots him !

Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents?
Elephanta Claus !

How many chimney does Father Christmas go down ?
Stacks !

Why is Santa like a bear on Christmas Eve ?
Because he's Sooty !

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What do monkeys sing at Christmas ?
Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.. !

Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?
They both drop their needles !

What's Christmas called in England?
Yule Britannia !

What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas ?
Thanks, I'll never part with it !

Why is a burning candle like being thirsty ?
Because a little water ends both of them !

What do you get if you cross an apple with a Christmas tree ?
A pineapple !

What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?
Platform Shoes!

What did the big candle say to the little candle ?
I'm going out tonight !

Whats happens to you at Christmas ?
Yule be happy !

How long does it take to burn a candle down ?
About a wick!

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