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Old 02-17-2006, 07:42 PM
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Default Say it after me: "I LOVE my job!

Rob is a commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana.



He performs underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is a e-mail he sent to his sister. She then sent it to radio station 103.2 FM in Ft. Wayne, Indiana, which was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest.



Needless to say, she won.



"Hi Sue, Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last week I had a bad day at the office. I know you've been feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my dilemma with you to make you realize it's not so bad after all.



"Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the office. It's a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: We have a diesel powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose. Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I've used it several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with warm water. It's like working in a Jacuzzi.

Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was done. In agony I realized what had happened.

"The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped it into my suit. Now, since I don't have any hair on my back, the jellyfish couldn't stick to it. However, the crack of my butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into the crack of my butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the communicator.



"His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along with five other divers, were all laughing hysterically. Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make three agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling thirty-five minutes before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry decompression. When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my brass helmet. As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the chamber. The cream put the fire out, but I couldn't poop for two days because my butt was swollen shut. So, next time you're having a bad day at work, think about how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up your butt



"Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I love my job."



"And whenever you have a bad day, ask yourself: is this a "jellyfish bad" day?"
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:21 AM
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wow thats unreal!!
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:26 AM
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Omg!:d :d :d :d :d :d
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:34 AM
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And I thought I had a bad job!
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Old 02-18-2006, 03:37 AM
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Here is what Snopes.com has to say about this:


Quote:
Origins:
This snippet of e-lore began its life on the Internet in October 1998. Whether it's an honest account or not is more difficult to determine than its date of Need a job? origin, though. A number of the details provided argue against its being anything other than an inventive piece of fiction, so the textual claim of "true story" should be taken with a grain of sea salt.

A diving outfit by the name of Global Industries does operate out of Louisiana. They specialize in deepwater diving, underwater welding technology, and subsea completions. However, those knowledgeable about diving have pointed out that technical divers working in deep water wear dry suits (or even hot water suits for very deep dives), not wetsuits. (A wetsuit is open and allows water to circulate between it and the diver's body. A dry suit seals at the wrist and neck and prevents water from entering.) "Brian's" claim to have been wearing a wetsuit while engaged in a dive so deep that it required three "water stops" (slang for "in-water decompression stops") on the way back up to prevent the bends is therefore suspect.

Should you believe this particular tale about a diver with a jellyfish up his arse? Probably not, but on the other hand there's no harm in enjoying it.
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Old 02-18-2006, 06:27 AM
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Well, I thought it gave perspective.
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