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04-04-2006, 01:37 AM
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After the Office Party
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.
As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong. Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick!: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling!" He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table eating. Jack asks, "Son, what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door." Confused he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, lady, I'm married!" Broken Coffee Table $39.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins $.38 Saying the right thing at the right time . . Priceless
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Science flies you to the moon...Religion flies you into buildings
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04-04-2006, 01:41 AM
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One of my faves!
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"While the eyes are the windows to your soul, your zipper is the window to your underwear." (\__/) (='.'=) (")_(") Me: www.myspace.com/beetlenut My beetle: http://www.newbeetle.org/forums/showthread.php?t=4690
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04-04-2006, 05:03 AM
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Super Funny!
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Peace
(\__/) (='.'=) (")_(") The Bunny Says It's Time For The DIN®!  Powered by Apple® iMac Leopard
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04-04-2006, 05:05 AM
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Oh man...never heard that one before. Thats a good one!
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The Baby: Darla, 102k, '99 New Beetle GL 5-speed. Bone stock. Acquired 4/6/05. Gave her life for me 8/17/11. RIP  The Project: Klaus, 180k+, '84 Jetta GL Turbo Diesel. Rebuilt and bringing 50+ mpg. Slightly improved from stock  Acquired 7/12/08The Baby Brother: Günther, 20th Anniversary Edition GTI  The money saver:2001 Jetta TDI GL. 114k. Dead auto, swapped to 3 pedals. Hubby's DD and our trip car
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04-04-2006, 05:07 AM
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nice!
__________________
All (he is) saying...is give (war) a chance... [apologies to John Lennon] "Nibblin' on spongecake, watchin' the sun bake, all of those tourists covered in oil..." "Your Freudian slip is showing..."  "Reality is just that surreal time between my dreams" - me
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