what's your favorite comeback statement?

[cjbear]

Sometimes in life (some more than others), we come across a situation where someone says something offensive or does something rude. And if you're like me, you think of the PERFECT thing you could have done about 5 minutes after the fact. But for some, you've got the mad skill to think quick on your feet and toss that snappy comeback at your offender, leaving them dazed and bewildered as to how the tables turned so quickly.

I WANT TO KNOW YOUR MOST MEMORABLE COMEBACK STATEMENT W/ SITUATION DETAILS

Sadly enough, I was not a quick thinker yesterday and I still haven't come up with the "perfect comeback".

Scenario: I had been cooped up in my apartment all day writing essays for scholarships and studying when I finally felt that I HAD to get out of my spider hole of an apartment. With the sun peaking out from behind the passing rainclouds, I donned a light sweater and went for an afternoon stroll. As I was waiting at a crosswalk, some punks in a crummy car started hollering and whistling at me. I felt STUCK! All I could do was wait for their light to turn green, there was nowhere for me to run! I was embarrassed and felt disgusting. I even tried to hide behind a pilar, but there were too many newspaper boxes in the way. The best I could muster was a birdie in their direction as they drove off. After overcoming my humiliation a few hours later, I thought I'd be clearminded enough to think of a good comeback, but I feel more mentally satisfied with aggressive behavior (who wouldn't?).

What would have been better and still legal?

[PlatEdLoveBug]

I pulled into a walmart parking lot and got a dude who walked up saying "awesome car...you know Herbie was white right? does it like drive itself too?" i spun and replied "actually Herbie was more of an offwhite and yea see Herbie and KITT had mad passionate sex and i got this car so its silver and it can talk and drive itself and right now i hear it calling you an idiot(I called him something else not forum appropriate really lol)"

[bluebeetlebabe]

I hate when you can never think of a comeback but anyway the birdie does work well too

[dvious]

"Go look up the definition of idiot in the dictionary and you know what you'll find?"

Most people respond with, "A picture of me?"

"No the definition of idiot, WHICH YOU ARE!"

haha, stolen from the movie KISS KISS BANG BANG

[The Cheat]

best comeback ever...

last summer, some douches in a civic or something (i don't even remember, this was back in my hazy days and i was probably faded at the time) were calling me a fag and all sorts of names and such on the highway while i was in my snap. i had just purchased a frosty from wendy's as it was hot as balls out there. i had had a pretty crappy day already and it was only 12pm, so i wasn't about to take any more crap from a bunch of wanna-be down white thugs. opened up the sunroof, closed my windows, floored it, got in front of them, slammed the brakes, chucked the frosty out the sunroof and SPLAT! all over their windshield. floored it again, let the chipped snappy get up to about 100mph, and that was the last i saw of them. of course, what would have been even sweeter is if they smashed into the jersey barrier, but that would have just been too good and my luck never is that great.

don't piss this guy off, especially when he's in a beetle...you will not win.

[gilligan]

When someone says "what are you looking at!!" I Reply Umm a Bunghole? only I use the "A" word.

[vdubbugman53]

some kid in a beat down 70s buick told me nice car then proceded to ask if i was gay? i then procided to tell him he could go smoke a pole and that i wiped my ___ with 20's then drove off

[GINA]

This one time Scott was running his mouth, and I told him to stfu.

The end.

[hyakugojyuuichi]

I work at Sonic as a carhop and we get hit on by a number of guys and sadly most of them are older men, 50+. Anyway, I had this guy who was obviously married, he had a wedding band on, and looked like he was old enough to be my grandfather, sit out on the lot for half an hour before he finally ordered something. Guess who got to take out his order. He tells me, "Well babydoll, I've been watching you and I like what I see." Me, "Well... I don't," and walked away. The look on his face was priceless.
Another time I had an old man ask me what I was doing when I got off work. BTW, I usually don't get off work until after midnight. He then told me that I was just his type and if I wanted to take a ride with him after work. I just smiled and said, " Yeah and you're just what I'm looking for, old, fat and ugly."

[warren]

Originally Posted by GINA

...and I told him to stfu. The end.

one of my faves...

[Ghia_Roadster]

i dont think mine would be worth the trouble telling because it wasnt exactly legal. lets just say i was lucky enough not to get caught.

[Shay]

Originally Posted by GINA

This one time Scott was running his mouth, and I told him to stfu.

The end.

Originally Posted by hyakugojyuuichi

I work at Sonic as a carhop and we get hit on by a number of guys and sadly most of them are older men, 50+. Anyway, I had this guy who was obviously married, he had a wedding band on, and looked like he was old enough to be my grandfather, sit out on the lot for half an hour before he finally ordered something. Guess who got to take out his order. He tells me, "Well babydoll, I've been watching you and I like what I see." Me, "Well... I don't," and walked away. The look on his face was priceless.
Another time I had an old man ask me what I was doing when I got off work. BTW, I usually don't get off work until after midnight. He then told me that I was just his type and if I wanted to take a ride with him after work. I just smiled and said, " Yeah and you're just what I'm looking for, old, fat and ugly."

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!!!

[Lnzbug]

Originally Posted by GINA

This one time Scott was running his mouth, and I told him to stfu.

The end.

Just ONE time???

[GINA]

Ok...every day

[bugfreak]

i tell people at work my car is not gay. it's just so hot that it will turn YOUR car gay. yeah... Pookie totally owned a Z06 Corvette. not on the street, but by turning it gay. cause i like to mess with the owner of the car and it parks next to the super-awesome Pookie bug.

okay... not much of a comeback cause i'm basically admitting that my car might be gay, but whatever. everybody says bugs are gay, so i just roll with it.

[digitalputty]

I like to either ignore or jokingly say, "Your Mom".

[digitalputty]

Originally Posted by hyakugojyuuichi

I work at Sonic as a carhop and we get hit on by a number of guys and sadly most of them are older men, 50+. Anyway, I had this guy who was obviously married, he had a wedding band on, and looked like he was old enough to be my grandfather, sit out on the lot for half an hour before he finally ordered something. Guess who got to take out his order. He tells me, "Well babydoll, I've been watching you and I like what I see." Me, "Well... I don't," and walked away. The look on his face was priceless.
Another time I had an old man ask me what I was doing when I got off work. BTW, I usually don't get off work until after midnight. He then told me that I was just his type and if I wanted to take a ride with him after work. I just smiled and said, " Yeah and you're just what I'm looking for, old, fat and ugly."

NICE!

[Audiophil]

Reply....

You: "That's cool and all, but you really need to talk to Dee."

Other Person: "Dee Who?"

You: "DEEEEEZ NUTZZZZ!"

LOL, I still play this very childish game from the 90s.

[mentalVdub]

want some french cries with that waaaaamburger?

[from Margaritaville...]

"Aren't you a little old for just entering puberty?"