The Thread About Nothing aka The Seinfeldesque Thread

[PhoenixRising]

Back on topic again. Why can't I sleep? This flu that I thought I was rid of, made me all tired. SO, I lay me head down. Nothing. I toss I turn. Nothing. What can I do to sleep?

[skittle buggy]

Originally Posted by FineExampl

Next door to my office is a Commerce Bank building. It's not a branch, it's something else. There's a girl who drives a black Civic with a sunroof wind deflector. I would like to meet her. Maybe talk to her. Problem is, how do you say "i see you come and go from work every day and sometimes i'll even watch for you cuz you look nice" without sounding like a total creep?

You would sound like a stalker if you told her you watch her everyday but not creep if you said something to the effect of. Hey I noticed you drive past the other day and I like your car. Would you like to go get coffee (or drinks)?? I could drive its not a problem. We could go in my beetle??
Hey don't ask me cause I've been married for almost 3 yrs and have no single friends.

[GINA]

Originally Posted by CyberGreenBaby

The lead in the clerical unit on the other side of my cubicle wont shut up! Her voice is like nails on a chalk board. She has a really bad speech impediment and thinks shes God's gift to the world yet she doesnt know poop from Shinola! She keeps saying to people over there "Have some bread pudding. Did you try the bread pudding? Take some bread pudding. I cant believe she didnt take any bread pudding. It's good bread pudding. Who made the bread pudding? I've never had bread pudding that was as good as this bread pudding. Look at the bread pudding. Isnt it nice bread pudding? The bread pudding is over there...try the bread pudding"
I'm gonna shove the bread pudding up her........
Whew...ok all better.

Maybe it's the lack of sleep but that just cracked me up!
I get so many funny looks when someone walks by my desk and I'm giggling about something I read on here

[FineExampl]

Originally Posted by PhoenixRising

Back on topic again. Why can't I sleep? This flu that I thought I was rid of, made me all tired. SO, I lay me head down. Nothing. I toss I turn. Nothing. What can I do to sleep?

Here's what i do when i can't sleep. I stay up all night and play Yahoo! Pool. Then i drink massive amounts of coffee to keep me focused throughout the day. By the time i get home i'm so exhausted that i literally pass out the moment i close my eyes.

Alternative, Unisom once in a while. Nytol. Did you try eating something? A cocktail perhaps? I know other things that make one sleepy as well that tend to work wonders in the short term.

[FineExampl]

Originally Posted by skittle buggy

You would sound like a stalker if you told her you watch her everyday but not creep if you said something to the effect of. Hey I noticed you drive past the other day and I like your car. Would you like to go get coffee (or drinks)?? I could drive its not a problem. We could go in my beetle??
Hey don't ask me cause I've been married for almost 3 yrs and have no single friends.

Well, good thing i'm not a stalker. I think she's married. She just was outside getting dropped off by a guy in a very large pickup. It's just as well. I could never have approached her. At least not without a reason other than my creepiness. I admit it. I'm a creep today. Not everyday though.

[Alan From NYC]

Originally Posted by PhoenixRising

Back on topic again. Why can't I sleep? This flu that I thought I was rid of, made me all tired. SO, I lay me head down. Nothing. I toss I turn. Nothing. What can I do to sleep?

Stand in front of your house until you see a car with the bumper sticker, "Ask Me About My Grandchildren."

Flag down the car. Ask the driver about his grandchildren.

Alternately, flag down cars with bumper stickers that read, "Lose Weight Now. Ask Me How."

[FineExampl]

George Carlin once said that you never see a person running full speed while taking a poop.

Well, yesterday i watched a CKY video. I saw just that.

Fascinating.

[ccain529]

Originally Posted by FineExampl

Fascinating.

Did you ever wonder if that is what it said at the bottom of that "Black Box Viewy Thing" that Mister Spock always looked into on Star Trek?

KIRK: What do the sensors say Mister Spock?
SPOCK: (Looking into black box on console, raising eyebrow) Fascinating!

[Alan From NYC]

Originally Posted by FineExampl

Well, good thing i'm not a stalker. I think she's married. She just was outside getting dropped off by a guy in a very large pickup. It's just as well. I could never have approached her. At least not without a reason other than my creepiness. I admit it. I'm a creep today. Not everyday though.

If the very large pickup does not have commercial tags, it's not her husband. If it does, it's still a 50-50 possibility.

Next time you see her, tell her that you work next door and would she like coffee? Have a cup ready. (Weird can be good.) To make an even better impression, have cups of tea and hot chocolate standing by. (This is where Starbucks comes in handy. You can get all the drinks there.)

Even if she says, "No," I guarantee she will smile. Not a bad thing.

[Dottydeb]

Hey I drove a large pickup before the bug. Maybe its her brother. Must get close enough to see a ring.

[Alan From NYC]

Originally Posted by Dottydeb

Hey I drove a large pickup before the bug. Maybe its her brother. Must get close enough to see a ring.

You loaned your brother your truck?

[FineExampl]

That might actually work in many situations. Course i would never take a drink from a stranger.

[Dottydeb]

Originally Posted by Alan From NYC

You loaned your brother your truck?

That is so funny! No silly!
Both my brothers have trucks and just thought maybe hers did too? Also, strangely enough when I am with them or my brother in law people will ask "Is that your husband?" or comment that must be your husband. But this never happens when I am actually with my husband!
In the mountains everybody thinks real men have to own a truck.
You know.... to haul the wood in, or the dogs around,hunting etc. We actually have to haul off our own trash: to the "convenience center".

[AmyJane]

I just got back from the doctor. My back doesnt hurt anymore..for now..and Im happy happy happy!!!

[FineExampl]

Originally Posted by CyberGreenBaby

I just got back from the doctor. My back doesnt hurt anymore..for now..and Im happy happy happy!!!

Doctor rub you the right way? Wish i had a doctor like that. I don't think Dr. Roger would help me out though.

[AmyJane]

Originally Posted by FineExampl

Doctor rub you the right way? Wish i had a doctor like that. I don't think Dr. Roger would help me out though.

LOL
No rubbin from the Doc. Thank God. He looks like a little troll! He gave me some happy pills

[FineExampl]

OooooOoooo i save all my happy pills. I never take pain meds so i stick em in the closet in case i had a bad day {wink-wink} Yeah i know...don't mix em with liqour. Why? Cuz you get really messed up. Nah, just playin.

I do have em though. Some percs, vicodin, high dose ibuprofin. Yeah baby! Headache you say?? No problem

[Alan From NYC]

Originally Posted by FineExampl

That might actually work in many situations. Course i would never take a drink from a stranger.

She is not you. Try not to look strange.

[Alan From NYC]

Originally Posted by Dottydeb

In the mountains everybody thinks real men have to own a truck.
You know.... to haul the wood in, or the dogs around,hunting etc. We actually have to haul off our own trash: to the "convenience center".

Trucks come in handy. More often than non-truckowners postulate.

Reminds of a time back in high school when the class was asked what car they desired. Every boy except me wanted either a Firebird or Camaro. I said, "Ford Country Squire." Asked why, I replied, "You can fold the seats and lie down in the back. You know what I mean?"

Considering the possibilities, the boys found new respect for me and a few of the girls began to giggle.

[AmyJane]

When I 1st started driving I mostly drove my dad's huge red chevy pickup. I loved driving that thing. I felt invinsible. It was like the limo of pickups. It had a back seat and a regular sized bed so it was looong. Never hit anything in it..except a few deer